In red letters it said “Contempt.” There was a service at 5 p.m. which meant that I would need to leave work early if I wanted to make it on time. So, I prayed about it and I felt the Holy Spirit impress upon my heart to go there. When I was leaving my supervisor stopped me and he was kind of chatty. I hopped in my new car and flew down Clairmont to the North Crossing, up Hwy 53 then clear to the end of Melby Road –going 70 in a 35. I prayed Lord, “How do I even get there? I’m not sure if I remember, please don’t let me get pulled over or lost. Lord is this my imagination or do you really want me there tonight?”
I walked into the big beautiful church and made it for the last worship song. Immediately, I felt the Holy Spirit upon me and through that place. I felt awkward and exposed. I felt a holy fear for God. The message was a series on Contempt. Letting go of things like anger, pride, the past things that have held me in bondage to the point of “ownership.” Mainly, my divorce from J.
The Baptist preacher was all fire and brimstone. The worship singer had an alternative but sweet and low voice. The place was jammed packed; the lights were dim. Everyone was given a sharp piece of barbed wire to hold through the service. Left of the stage was a rugged cross and on the right was a wooden treasure chest.
The pastor said that the barbed wire was the Contempt that kept us in bondage. The chest was where lock people up inside our minds and hearts, who have offended us. This control, pride, hatred, resentment, hurt feelings, and Contempt separate us from spending our life in freedom and can even separate us from spending eternity with the True Living God. The wolf is the Contempt that keeps us from enjoying love and experiencing all the good things that God has planned for us.
The pastor said it much better but I felt and knew that God wanted me there tonight and that I needed to hear this message more than I needed to continue breathing. So, then he had us lay down the barbed wire as a symbol of laying down our pride. Then, immediately after laying down the barbed wire we picked up the bread and the wine to receive Holy Communion. During the service, the pastor had us squeeze the sharp metal just a little as we prayed to the Father to help us and show us how to let this Contempt go once and for all so that we could fully experience the life that Christ died and rose again to give us.
I remember seeing the giant man in front of me, wiping tears away, beneath the dimly lit room, hiding his emotions. I felt like crying too but promised myself I could cry in the car on the way home. We prayed and the service ended after another worship song. From the time I left the church until I got to Border’s I could not stop shouting praises to God and praying in tongues. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. What an awesome and wonderful God we serve.
I can still hear the pastor shouting, “Is this what your really want? Do you want to feel the pain of this rage and anger for the rest of your life? Imagine this barbed wire wrapping itself all around you. Imagine it locking you in and keeping others out. Imagine everyone being wrapped up in this wire through the whole city. Jesus died to set us free from this prison. They punched him and ripped out his beard. They nailed him to the rugged cross and he poured out his blood so that we could be forgiven, so that we could be free.”
He said that we can pray to the Holy Spirit to help us walk on the path that leads to Eternal Life with God and that we should pay attention to our inner man. When we start to feel ourselves walking down the wrong path to Contempt again, the Holy Spirit will help us say “No!” to the anger and the bitterness until eventually the wrong path is covered with thorns and bushes and we won’t have room to walk there anymore. The Lord will bring us to the path of righteousness where we belong, where we are free to follow and worship him. So, we can love others and let them love us. I am sure the pastor said it much better but I was amazed and completely in awe of our Wonderful Make and Father.
Lord Jesus, thank you, that you poured out your blood on the cross to save me and to make me whole. I love you and I want to live with you in Eternity. You are the Prince of Peace and worthy of all praise and glory. Father God; Abba Father
I worship you. Holy Spirit, Wow! You were awesome in this place tonight! I pray you make me faithful in going to worship so I can hear the message. I pray you cover me with your grace in all my ways of thinking and doing. Forgive me for my sins. I fully repent of all anger, malice, rage, disobedience, hatred, untruthfulness, and rebellion. Please lead me into all truth and Godly wisdom. Bless my children in all their ways and help me to be a good mom to them. In the Mighty Name of Jesus –Amen! 10/23/10